Quarterly Newsletter: Summer Edition 2024
“Rest when you’re weary. Refresh and renew yourself, your body, your mind, your spirit. Then get back to work.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Summer greetings, my friend!
The other day, while on an afternoon walk around my block, I paused and watched the shadow of leaves on a small tree dance in the breeze. What struck me most wasn’t the movement of the leaves on the cement, it was the random specks of light in the otherwise darkened mass of shadow.
Why did this strike me so? Well, it resonated deeply with how things have been going in my life since late April.
I’ve been in a season of surviving. Burnout has claimed me and recovery is now my top priority.
For me, the shadow of those leaves with their sporadic light pockets mimicked what I’m currently living through. A lot of heavy darkness, lack of motivation, oftentimes suffocating, with moments of light to remind me that the surface is there, it’s close, and I am working toward swimming back up to it.
What does that mean for this newsletter? Honestly, nothing. I will still send out my quarterly newsletters, but there are some changes on the horizon that I will talk about toward the end.
My focus here is to be transparent, as I always feel I am in my posts, and make it clear that living in a season of survival should not be worn as any badge of honor because it is hell. I’m back in therapy to guide me through this time and doing other recovery gestures that are helping.
But more on that later. Until then, here is what I’ve been up to the last few months.
👩🏻💻 Writing Updates
Did I mention burnout is hell? If not, let me repeat that because, since April, I’ve barely touched my memoir. I didn’t make a single dent in May or June. However, finally, in July, I began making strides again.
Now a little over 50,000 words into this draft, I’ve moved my deadline to the end of September. I hope to be done before then because I want to give it one final read-through before sending it off to my agent.
The big deadline is sending it to her in December before the agency closes for the holidays. I know I can do it and with my new recovery plan in full swing, I feel it is possible. But I am also going to make sure I listen to my mind and body and if I need a few days here or there, I’ll take them without judgment.
One thing that rejuvenated me a bit was applying to Hedgebrook’s Radical Craft Retreat. The author-in-residence at this one is none other than Deborah Harkness, author of A Discovery of Witches and its series.
I should be hearing real soon if I made it. If not, there is another retreat in September that doesn’t require an application and is being hosted by memoirist and overall digital nomad badass, Brianna Madia.
I’ll be sure to let you know which one I’ll be attending. Would I love to do both? Hell yes. Both of these writers have had profound impacts on my writing, but alas, I can only do one this year.
What I’m…
📚 reading
Since burning out, I haven’t been reading much. When they say your motivation and love of things that often bring you joy is zapped away, they’re not kidding. Since my last update, the only books I’ve finished include How Are You, Really? by Jenna Kutcher, The Tearsmith by Erin Doom, and Fifty Shades Darker by E.L. James. I’m starting to find a rhythm with reading again, but those are the only three I finished over the last few months.
🎥 watching
Even movies and shows have been tough to swallow, though I managed to squeeze in a bit more on this list. I watched The Tearsmith on Netflix, which led me to read the book. Definitely give both a go. The book revealed a lot more backstory and insights into the characters so when I went back and rewatched the movie, a lot more made sense. But if you’re also in the mood for a tense, dark teen romance, it’s perfect.
Elsewhere on Netflix, I watched Madame Web, which I enjoyed despite its flaws. Tease me all you want, but I tend to like the Marvel movies others don’t (Captain Marvel anyone?) because you best believe I will cheer on any female-led superhero movie. If you’re interested in more of my thoughts, feel free to leave a comment below or message me. I’m happy to share my perspective.
Might as well ride the Dakota Johnson train and mention that I also watched Am I Ok? on Max. If you’re looking for an incredible, albeit short, coming-of-age friendship story that includes an LGBTQ+ storyline, this one’s it. My new comfort movie for sure.
I also watched The Idea of You on Amazon Prime, A Family Affair on Netflix (love this trend of older women with younger men), and caught Fall on Starz. What an intense film! I also watched the Brats documentary on Hulu, which was an interesting look into pop culture and its effect on people throughout time. A lot of compelling insights were shared and many authors were involved, which was pretty cool.
The only TV shows I’ve been watching include Season 4 of The Boys (Amazon Prime), and Season 3 of Claim To Fame (ABC), though I’m hoping to start My Lady Jane soon.
Now, about those changes…
As I mentioned earlier, one thing being burnt out has taught me is that I cannot keep burning the candle at both ends. Do I want to escape the 9-5 and go back to working for myself? Absolutely, but it’s not plausible right now. My new job, which was a major cause of this recent bout of burnout, is still needed, but best be sure I am approaching the new school year differently because I cannot keep going the way I am.
One thing I’ve re-learned in my therapy sessions is what drives me, what fuels me, and what makes me feel alive. Even if my motivation isn’t always present, there is one thing that always fuels me and that’s writing.
So while recovering, my focus will be on my memoir and, obviously, working on myself.
But in the process of that, I want to share my journey. Burnout is becoming so common that many of us are in constant seasons of survival without ever getting out. That won’t serve anyone in the long run, though I understand how difficult it is to just step off the hamster wheel because we fear falling behind.
With that said, my goal is to start posting more on Substack. Sharing not just these quarterly catch-ups, but monthly (and hopefully bi-weekly) updates. I want to share my burnout recovery and provide you with some of the tools that are helping me outside of therapy.
I want to share how this affects my creativity and what I do to move the needle forward even if it’s a smidge each day. I want to do what I love most about writing: connect, inspire, and release.
That means shorter quarterly newsletters, which I’m sure you won’t mind. I ask that you bear with me as I go through this recovery. Some posts may not always be sunshine and rainbows and I’ll do my best to let you know ahead of time of any trigger warnings. But if there’s one thing writing my memoir has taught me is that being vulnerable helps us connect on a more personal level and I do hope my journey connects with one or more of you.
I appreciate you being here and I hope you will enjoy what’s to come.
I’m closing this slightly longer newsletter with this tidbit into my life.
This isn’t the first time I’ve been burned out. It claimed me from 2016-2018 and I had hoped never to experience it again. Unfortunately, it’s here and I’m doing my best, working on my recovery, and making small strides each day. Some days are better than others.
I’m wishing you a balanced life, my friend, and hope that if/when burnout creeps its way into your life, you take the necessary steps back and take care of yourself. Hopefully, my recovery can help guide you if need be.
Until next time,
💜 J